My inner child and my teenage self were in charge. I felt like I was in a tug-of-war between them both. Being pulled in two different directions, I had to find a way to balance the two and make them work together.
Why parenting ourselves is important
I learned the importance of parenting myself. I had to be gentle with my inner child and teenage self, showing them love and compassion. I also had to be firm with them and hold them accountable for their actions.
I became less self-critical, learning that mistakes were lessons I could benefit from. I watched myself closely and tried to determine the motivations for my actions. Was I doing things to get others to like me? Or was I doing things out of a genuine sense of self-love?
These questions helped me to become a better parent to myself.
We can make better choices
Parenting myself meant getting enough sleep, eating healthier, and making choices that benefited my life. Most importantly, I had to learn how to love and accept myself for who I was. The problem is I didn't know who that was, so I had to watch myself and my behavior for several weeks.
What bad behavior?
I admit I told fake stories to get others to like me. I also dropped the names of people to look better. When I was hurt or angry, I talked about people behind their backs. I told lies. I felt disappointed with my behavior.
It was no wonder I did not have self-respect or high self-esteem.
We need to run the show
I now understand that when we don't heal properly, we allow our inner child and our younger teenage selves to run the show. The truth is that they want you to lead. They need you to be in charge. You can re-parent yourself, love yourself, and discipline yourself.
Transformation begins with you, wherever you are. Dr. Jordan Petersen, a renowned Canadian psychologist, suggests several things I should put in my toolbox, including watching myself.
"Like a snake," he says. I started to watch myself, my actions, what I said, and everything. I realized my life was out of control. My inner child and teenage self were running rampant.
Honoring our younger selves
I can do things my inner child would enjoy, like snack on candies or visit a beautiful light display. However, I stopped indulging in childish things. My younger teenager loved to leave her trash around, and disorganization was prominent when she was in charge.
Growing up, I cleaned up after myself, especially in common areas.
We don't discard our younger selves; we recognize them within us. We begin as adults. I encourage you to honor and heal your younger versions.
Are you taking charge?
Most importantly, I challenge you to take charge.
